never-love-an-anchor

On some level I think I always understood

That these hands of mine were clumsy, not clever

And I tried to do the best that I could

But try as I might, I couldn't bring myself to hold you

It's a secret I keep tucked inside my chest

With this heart of mine that's guilty, not remorseful

There is love that doesn't have a place to rest

But it would have buried you if it had settled on your shoulders

On some level I think I always understood

That a ship could never really love an anchor

So I did the only thing that I could

And severed the rope to set you sailing from my harbor

There are times when I still wonder about you

You are omeone I have loved, but never known

And you'll never see the reasons I had

For keeping my claws away when they were close enough to hurt you

I am selfish, I am broken, I am cruel

I am all the things they might have said to you

But do you ever think of me and my two hands

And wonder why they never soothed your fevers

And wonder why they never tied your shoes

And wonder why they never held you gently

And wonder why they never had the chance to lose you?