WHY is getting into new artists n genres SO HARD >:( its wild how often i feel stuck in the music i already listen to but then when i try to step out n try something new i always get bored bc its not the same old sound i know and love . i need to find music while interacting with people so theres some memory attached to it and not just ' huh . i guess this might be fun '

like currently im trying to listen to more of paramore's music , but my brain has chosen to focus instead on the crane wives . i even got paramore cds at the library and i doubt ill even be able to fully appreciate them before i have to return them :/

one thing i have learned about my process in getting into new things in general but more specifically music is that i do have to kind of take it slow

more than likely im gonna focus on just one song by one artist for anywhere from a day to a few months . then i might look up the album that the song is from and fixate on maybe the whole thing but more often one or two songs that sound most similar to the first one . then eventually ill find more sounds by them that i enjoy and delve into the rest of their discography , but that can take anywhere from several months to a year depending on how long the other stages last . i just need to remind myself that i dont really get to choose what my brain decides to focus on , and i just kinda have to go with it . trying to force my brain to divert from the dopamine source is only going to make me miserable , even if i am starting to kind of get bored of it

but regardless , its one of the more frusturating parts of being auDHD , because it sometimes feels like my brain is actively fighting me on things , and that can be really annoying . still , though , the music i do end up getting into is the stuff that i cherish , if not forever then at the very least while im fixated on it . and it wouldnt feel that good if i wasnt auDHD , so im willing to take the downs if it means i get the ups too