Welcome to the Birdhouse

i love actually writing shit and not having the will to post it . telling myself its for spoiler reasons but we all know its because im a lil coward who cant write regular ass words bc theyre too scary >.< oh noes baby boy is scared of the big bad word how awful ← me making fun of myself

the circumstances arent even the same its LITERALLY just the word thats got me like this . its so stupid

anyway . this thought was only 30 minutes too late for me to make this 7/10/2023 instead

well . its one of those nights where i put off going to sleep , so enjoy some tired ramblings while im also coming down off a ptsd adrenaline rush

i honestly dont know how im supposed to write len's story if im constantly being triggered by it in the most mundane ways . like hes literally my traumadump character and even tho some of the stuff hes gone through i havent actually having to talk about it feels like talking about my trauma . something something unhealthy attachment to fictional characters , but ive literally been working with some iteration of this dude since middle school so honestly id be more surprised if i wasnt this attached to him

killing the cop in my head by letting myself vent here instead of forcing myself to section it off into its own separate space . i think that urge might be indicative of something

anyway im going to bed . genuinely hope nobody reads this lol

and no , im still not deleting this . go up and re-read the bit about killing the copo in your head every time you think about it , me

i hate having adhd what the fuck where the fuck did i put my minecraft gamecard im going 2 scream

I AM NOT HAVING A GOOD DAY